I made a plan. Around this time last year.
A promise. I made plans with the girl I had been praying for for months, the girl I had gone to visit while in hospital. The girl who hugged me as tight as always, who's nails I painted and who's beautiful smile greeted me that day.
We had planned, that after her immunity was stronger, after she was allowed to leave home without her mother accompanying her- after the New Year had passed and cancer- free life began to return to "normality" we would do something simple. We planned to get coffee. I planned to give her this little gift. Just something small, something sweet. It wasn't much but sometimes the simplest of things are the best.
It's funny how we're always scheduling. Busy with this and that, trying to make time for some things, whilst taking time away for other things.
These plans fell through anyway. I never got to give my sweet Leah her 16th birthday present- and I haven't yet made plans to open this again, or what to do with it next.
I've learned on many occasion, sometimes not planning makes the best adventure. I love the thrill of not knowing what comes next.
In fact, this weekend I had the privilege of spending some quality time with my brothers girlfriend. We worshipped, talked and shared together in my bedroom. She shared with me a verse from the same portion of scripture I read at my baptism in July this year.
A promise. I made plans with the girl I had been praying for for months, the girl I had gone to visit while in hospital. The girl who hugged me as tight as always, who's nails I painted and who's beautiful smile greeted me that day.
We had planned, that after her immunity was stronger, after she was allowed to leave home without her mother accompanying her- after the New Year had passed and cancer- free life began to return to "normality" we would do something simple. We planned to get coffee. I planned to give her this little gift. Just something small, something sweet. It wasn't much but sometimes the simplest of things are the best.
It's funny how we're always scheduling. Busy with this and that, trying to make time for some things, whilst taking time away for other things.
These plans fell through anyway. I never got to give my sweet Leah her 16th birthday present- and I haven't yet made plans to open this again, or what to do with it next.
I've learned on many occasion, sometimes not planning makes the best adventure. I love the thrill of not knowing what comes next.
In fact, this weekend I had the privilege of spending some quality time with my brothers girlfriend. We worshipped, talked and shared together in my bedroom. She shared with me a verse from the same portion of scripture I read at my baptism in July this year.
"...For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you, not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29.11
I know this little bit of scripture is popular, but I can understand why. God has spoken over and over through this- to many different people. For me, it was the whole book of Jeremiah. God made promises not just plans. My plans fall through- more often than I'd like but HEY I am human, and I suck at a lot of things that involve doing human things.
God however is not man, but Creator of man. Creator of all things, in fact!
Back to last night- as I talked with my brother's girlfriend, we discussed my dealing with things I hate technique- ie, mainly school right now.
If any of my readers know me, they'll know how much of a struggle it is for me to even deal with going in there. Not for any particular reason I can put my finger on- it is simply a battle. BUT in all battles, Christ is victorious and I know, that I'll come out at the end with good grades. Lemme explain this.
I told her, that I do not plan ahead. I do not think about next week, next month, my end of year exams, the future- including uni and all that career malarky (yuck), but instead each morning I ask God for the strength to get out of bed. And after that, the strength to get through that day- if there's anything that may be particularly difficult, I'll ask for help with that as well. This may contribute to my extreme lack of organisational skills, but where there's a will there's a way (and God's will always prevails...)
NOW don't get me wrong, planning can be good! Make sure you've got your homework done, the cake needs to be baked with the right ingredients at the right temperature, and that party next week is gonna be hella messy (and empty) if you don't start sorting that out!
But where are your priorities?
As I write this I am talking to myself also. Where are your plans to spend time with God? Where are the study times, quiet times, thanksgiving, prayer and waiting times? We can be superb at planning and not so great with following through entirely. Imagine if God's plans and promises were as sloppy as ours. Verse 12 of the same chapter says "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Imagine if God forgot he told the Exiles this?! "Um .... hello? Didn't you say you'd bring us back? God... You there?!" Some God that would be.
Today I reminded my small group in SU that God is always faithful to remember his promises. ALWAYS.
I wish sometimes that box wasn't still sitting on my dresser, layered in dust and buried in jewelry. BUT I trust that God's plan is perfect.
I take each day at a time because when I planned my future, I disappointed myself. I got worried. Sometimes I panic every so often with "What if I ACTUALLY fail my exams?! And don't get into uni?? OR GET A JOB? (OR have a boyfriend that isn't a fictional character) but then the holy spirit says but WAIT
God's not done here ! Matthew 10 tells us in verses 29-31
"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one will fall
to the ground outside of your Father's care.
And even the very hairs on your head are numbered,
So don't be afraid, you are worth more that many sparrows."
It tells more about this not worrying stuff all through the bible, Matthew is big for Jesus himself reminding us not to worry about making our plans about food, drink, clothes, homes, careers, a levels... WELL.
He reminds us that if God will take care of the birds, the beautiful lillies, the things even we don't think about, and we are created as his masterpiece, then OF COURSE he will take most care of us!
Keep your plans short, and your faith fast.
Sometimes I wish more of my plans had come to pass, but I know that his plans were different from mine. And I am thankful He is always right, for I will fail, and mess and forget.
But thank the Lord he never will.
God however is not man, but Creator of man. Creator of all things, in fact!
Back to last night- as I talked with my brother's girlfriend, we discussed my dealing with things I hate technique- ie, mainly school right now.
If any of my readers know me, they'll know how much of a struggle it is for me to even deal with going in there. Not for any particular reason I can put my finger on- it is simply a battle. BUT in all battles, Christ is victorious and I know, that I'll come out at the end with good grades. Lemme explain this.
I told her, that I do not plan ahead. I do not think about next week, next month, my end of year exams, the future- including uni and all that career malarky (yuck), but instead each morning I ask God for the strength to get out of bed. And after that, the strength to get through that day- if there's anything that may be particularly difficult, I'll ask for help with that as well. This may contribute to my extreme lack of organisational skills, but where there's a will there's a way (and God's will always prevails...)
NOW don't get me wrong, planning can be good! Make sure you've got your homework done, the cake needs to be baked with the right ingredients at the right temperature, and that party next week is gonna be hella messy (and empty) if you don't start sorting that out!
But where are your priorities?
As I write this I am talking to myself also. Where are your plans to spend time with God? Where are the study times, quiet times, thanksgiving, prayer and waiting times? We can be superb at planning and not so great with following through entirely. Imagine if God's plans and promises were as sloppy as ours. Verse 12 of the same chapter says "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Imagine if God forgot he told the Exiles this?! "Um .... hello? Didn't you say you'd bring us back? God... You there?!" Some God that would be.
Today I reminded my small group in SU that God is always faithful to remember his promises. ALWAYS.
I wish sometimes that box wasn't still sitting on my dresser, layered in dust and buried in jewelry. BUT I trust that God's plan is perfect.
I take each day at a time because when I planned my future, I disappointed myself. I got worried. Sometimes I panic every so often with "What if I ACTUALLY fail my exams?! And don't get into uni?? OR GET A JOB? (OR have a boyfriend that isn't a fictional character) but then the holy spirit says but WAIT
God's not done here ! Matthew 10 tells us in verses 29-31
"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one will fall
to the ground outside of your Father's care.
And even the very hairs on your head are numbered,
So don't be afraid, you are worth more that many sparrows."
It tells more about this not worrying stuff all through the bible, Matthew is big for Jesus himself reminding us not to worry about making our plans about food, drink, clothes, homes, careers, a levels... WELL.
He reminds us that if God will take care of the birds, the beautiful lillies, the things even we don't think about, and we are created as his masterpiece, then OF COURSE he will take most care of us!
Keep your plans short, and your faith fast.
Sometimes I wish more of my plans had come to pass, but I know that his plans were different from mine. And I am thankful He is always right, for I will fail, and mess and forget.
But thank the Lord he never will.